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Search Results 0 to 4 of about 5
Aug 16, 2013 7:00pm EDT
! ( screaming ) look familiar? it should. anger is what makes america great but you must find the proper outlet for your rage. fire a weapon at your television screen; pick a fight with someone weaker than you; or write a threatening letter to a celebrity. so, when you go out for a drive remember to leave your murderous anger where it belongs... at home. and, as if that film wasn't enough we have a special guest. why, it's curtis e. bear-- the courtesy bear. for the next three hours this bear will take your verbal and physical abuse with good nature and aplomb. so, if you'll all just grab one of these two-by-fours... uh, chief, can i at least shield my crotch? bears can't talk, kenny. ( yelling ) well, simpson, did you learn something today? oh, did i ever. and that herbal anger rinse just washed the rage right out of me. uh, remember, midge, you feel the need to rage you call me, right? i won't even get sexual or nothing unless that's what you want. but that's not what you want, right? no, thanks. but thanks. after you, sweetheart. oh, no, you first, ma'am. well, somebody go first. well, not m
Aug 19, 2013 7:00pm EDT
, this is perfect. we're going to go see marmaduke? no, the smithsonian traveling exhibit. it encapsulates america and makes history come alive. what? and marmaduke doesn't? sorry, dad. my mind is made up. this is your fault for trading away your turn. just for that, no dessert tonight. trade you my next turn for dessert. d-ohh! deal. hey, how come the smithsonian needs to be sponsored by a cell phone company? i can answer that. uncle sam needs to spend our tax dollars on the essentials. anti-tobacco programs, pro-tobacco programs killing wild donkeys and israel. good old government. yeah, but corporate sponsorship cheapens our nation's treasures. actually, they're omnitouch's treasures now. we bought them during the last budget crisis. ( gasping ) look, they have lincoln's hat. thank god for grave robbers. oh, america's greatest citizen summed up in one piece of clothing. ( homer gasping ): fonzie's jacket! who's fonzie? who's fonzie?! don't they teach you anything in school? he freed the squares. how can they put a prop from a tv show next to the bill of rights? so what's so great about the bill
Aug 21, 2013 7:00pm EDT
, marge. they're advertising my show in art in america. it's the first time i've been mentioned there that i know of. i'm happy for you. now, good night. good night. hmm... you're upset about something. is this about that trip barney and i took to machu picchu? now, homer, being an artist was my dream but now, without even trying you've accomplished more in a week than i have in my whole life. aw, honey, i've always liked your art. your paintings look like the things they look like. that's sweet, but... how would you like it if i... i don't know... entered a belching contest. frankly, i'd be a little turned on. you don't understand. marge i've screwed up everything i've ever done. i mean, look at bart but i finally found something where people worship me for screwing up and that feels pretty good. i guess nothing else matters as long as you're happy. now you're making sense. good night. ( snoring ) homer is the most dangerous artist on the springfield scene. now, let's see what surprises he has for us tonight. i give you "botched hibachi." the tricycle's on loan from the maggie
Aug 22, 2013 7:00pm EDT
and its interests. ow! god bless america! hit the road, lefty! you, too, rizzo. oh, cinnamon. don't make this harder than it already is. ( cheering ) bravo, springfield. i've never seen such a clean sewer. and we are positively inspired by your solar power plant. love that sun, man. and we will do anything including, but not limited to anything to make your stay here tolerable. yes, you'll be completely above the law. uh, women, guns, cash-- uh, whatever you need, it's yours. and that's not all. we've just chosen our official olympic mascot. ( crowd applauds ) ( gasping ): they picked springy! in your face, patty and selma! well, we still love you, ciggy. mmm... that glue really gives it a pop. and now, because the children are our future here are the children of springfield elementary with a song they call "the children are our future." children? ( bright pop playing ) ♪ children ♪ children ♪ future ♪ future ♪ are you ready for the... ♪ children! whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪ the future is a... ♪ coming! hey, hey, hey! ♪ children ♪ children ♪ future ♪ future... i've never
Aug 23, 2013 7:00pm EDT
or four cheese lasagna? can i get another one of those actually? [ superfan ] hey, america, we're here to help. ♪ too small. too soft. too tasty. [ both laugh ] [ male announcer ] introducing progresso's new creamy alfredo soup. inspired by perfection.  do you really think you can capture the loch ness monster? i mean, he's eluded leonard nimoy and peter graves. ( scoffs ) peter graves couldn't find ugly at a radcliffe mixer. let's see now-- we have the monster-ometer flipper-finder hoaxiscope, which is important for the looking and finding. ach, the whole town's turned out. i've never seen them so excited. homer: hey, willie. that old couple looks just like you. aye. 'tis my ma and pa. they own a tavern hereabouts. they still have the same pool table on which i was conceived, born and educated. so you're back, son. aye. i suppose you'll be leaving soon. aye. where's my monster, tubby? what do you people think i'm paying you for? uh, to work in your power plant? you're not paying me anything. you kidnapped me. i remember it distinctly with the grabbing
Search Results 0 to 4 of about 5